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Adam Wisnieski Exploded and Evelyn, Too

present

The Sound of a Hundred Girls Peeing Sounds Like a Jet Lifting Off EP

written/recorded/mixed all in one day this previous Saturday by Adam and Evelyn

01. My Radio Exploded

02. Michael Douglass is Falling Down

03. The Name of this Song Used to be My Darling, My Love

04. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Page 154-156 by J.R.R. Tolkien

Download Here

So I was able to play some of Wii Sports Resort and had a lot of fun even though Kat kept kicking my ass. I never picked up that second Wii Sports game but this latest installment definitely dwarfs at least the original. Sure there are a lot of different sports to play but there are only 3 that I’m going to talk about. Everything I played was pretty fun but nothing compares to table tennis, canoeing and Frisbee. Table tennis may be the same thing as original tennis but just ping pong instead, but the new peripheral (Wii Motion Plus) really shines bright and takes the game to a new level. The only time I can blame the controller is when there is too much in front of me blocking things, but most of the time that is just laughed off by everyone else. I can’t blame the controller anymore for my motions not being exact enough. Now there is more precision. That doesn’t mean it’s as difficult as it might be in the real world, but the bar has definitely been raised. Ping Pong is Ping Pong, and that’s what it’s great. It’s a simple game, but who has the room for a table in their apartment? Well this is all that you need if you’re looking for the way to truly bring the Pong experience to your own home.

Canoeing is fun and you look like an idiot while doing it. I haven’t quite gotten the motions down yet and at times it seems like the Wii motion plus may be a little too sensitive and switches my rowing side without me telling it to, but I still think it’s more pilot error than system. While I’ve never been canoeing before I got a hell of a work out from sitting on a couch pretending I was and that’s not just because I’m a big guy and can use the exercise. If you want to win you’ve got to try and work hard to get yourself over that finish line. No more button mashing, now you’re flailing around. I guess that was always the point of the Wii anyway, but honestly it’s a lot of fun once you get past the muscle pain.

Frisbee. Wow. It seems awesome at first because the controls work so well for it, it seems so natural, and for someone who only throws about 2 in 5 Frisbee’s well, I’m doing just as well on the Wii, an imitation of life that’s near perfect. And it all seems to be going really well. And then…it becomes even better. How? Just play through a single Frisbee tourney and unlock Frisbee Golf. 2 9 Hole courses (I think), one new one old. And let me tell you there is nothing better than Frisbee golf on Resort. There may not even be a better game on the Wii. Do yourself a favor and if you own a Wii pick up resort, because it’s the first game I’ve bought for the Wii in a long time, and it doesn’t disapoint…if you have low standards, which most Wii owners have at this point.

I knew it wouldn’t last. It didn’t even last a day I was on warfish the whole time I was writing that phantom post and I’m still fucking obsessed, no matter how terrible I am at the game. Whatever, I guess that’t the point right?

I still haven’t found any subs for Love Exposure but I haven’t given up hope. I have, however, watched a bunch of other movies shown at the NYAFF.

First, Hausu. What the fuck?

Second, Monster X Strikes Back, which I enjoyed but I have the same complaint about it that I have about most monster movies and that to get rid of the fucking humans. Just show monsters fighting, I don’t care about any set up all the people have one of two goals, kill the monster or praise the monster. If anything hits the monster well those people probably are in the "kill the monster" group and people trying to hurt them are in the "praise the monster" group. I don’t need to know what the plan is to kill or save the monster, because both ultimately will fail at some point. I want to see the monster destroy and kill and then be killed. Or walk off into the sea under the sunset. I get that it was spoofing monster movies, and that a some of the situations and dialogue were funny, well just show that, minimal bits, giant set ups aren’t necessary when you have a 100 story monster walking around a city.

Third, 20th Centrury Boys Part 1. I really liked this movie, from start to finish and I can’t wait for the next one, which I’ve been searching for incessantly (along with the film I want to see more than anything Written By)  and coming up empty (also with Written By). Obviously based on a manga, it plays out just like a serious fantasy manga and feels like a manga. That being said it misses it’s beat a few times with the reaction shots of Kenji.

Fourth, Dream. Interesting, well acted and with shots so beautiful that you would swear they were on a canvas. A little slow at times and I found myself shouting at the main characters a good bit.

Finally, Be a Man! Samurai School was fucking brilliant from beginning to end. Another film based on a manga, the fighting, the humor, the actors, the film was just flat out fun with a lot of fists flying. My copy was crap though and half way through the sound sync went completely off and the subtitles didn’t match, but a few fixes later and the goodness kept on rolling. Do yourself a favor and see it, in fact see them all (especially Hausu) and enjoy.

Ai No Mukidashi [Love Exposure] is a 4 hour Japanese film hailed as both an "epic" and a "masterpiece" (on the IFC flyer) about (according to the flyer) "the son of a priest who become a pornographer, finds the love of his life, loses her to a woman, joins a cult, and becomes a street fighter…" I picked up the flyer at the New York Asian Film Festival before a screening of Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl. VGvsFG was amazing but I could not strike the thoughts of Love Exposure from my mind.  Unfortunately for me all of the showings at the NYAFF were sold out and I was left with nothing but a few movie stills and the flyer. Upon my arrival back to my computer I searched frantically for any information I could find on when LE would be released on DVD and found a Japanese release date of July 24th. So, three discs worth of material, the film on the first two and a whole warehouse full of extra material on the third disc. And here I sit, with my 237 minute of film and ~180 minutes of bonus features, and not a single English subtitle to be found. I tried to watch it, I thought "I’ve seen enough Anime and  Kurosawa films to take this on." WRONG. "Well maybe if I just immerse myself in nothing but the Japanese language for a few days I’ll start to understand it." WRONG. So here I continue to sit, searching the internet every few minutes for a fan sub of a movie that hasn’t been on DVD a week yet. There’s always hope? I was about to look something up and end with something undoubtedly witty and inspiring. But I forgot what it was.

If there has been one thing I’ve figured out over the past 2 months post graduation without a job it’s that I suck at Risk. Like really suck bad at it. I’ve been spending a lot of times on warfish.net, for worse or maybe for better, becoming more and more frustrated with the game. Maybe there is just something wrong with me and that’s why I feel this or maybe I just really suck at the game. Either way there is something I can do about it, so I’ve decided to stop playing at least for a while. Online, inperson, whatever I’m done. Once I finish up this last game I think I’ll just go back to scouring chesshere and continuously losing in another game. Maybe I can accept my chess defeats more than my Risk ones. Maybe I just need to keep jumping between the two, gathering hope in the one I’m not playing while losing in the other one, only to become fed up with my current game and switch back over to another game I cannot possibly win. I guess that’s life. No real options other than hiding. That’s all a little melodramatic for a Wednesday morning, and I’ll probably keep playing Risk no matter how much it frustrates me. But only online. Because I can’t stand sitting on one place for that long having to deal with people. Unless that place happens to be my room. And those people happen to be the Simpsons.

Yeah there’s an album coming out. There’s no track list yet. So I say make your own. Download all the .wav files for the songs here:

http://www.whatidoinmybedroom.com/LightningCrabs/Stuff.zip

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So has anyone else read this article yet?

http://www.moviehole.net/200918431-about-this-wolverine-leak

Yes that’s right. In case you haven’t heard a work print copy of the new Wolverine movie has leaked onto the Internet and people are pissed off. And here come Clint Morris to give a completely one sided, idiotic and laughable approach to journalism. Sure mine is no better, but I don’t pretend to be a professional.

He asks us if we have any idea how much money goes into making a movie, as though people who peruse moviehole.net think that they grow off trees, just flat out insulting the readers intelligence. Well fuck you Clint. I do in fact have an idea about how movies are made. And then Clint goes off on his little tirade about how unfair it is for a movie to be leaked early so that people can post bad reviews and dissuade other people from seeing it. Because that’s all that people do, watch a movie and instantly call it bad? Maybe the morons who comment all over your site and your posts don’t actually watch movies but why the fuck would everyone automatically call a movie bad? What if everyone saw it and called it "Brilliant!" and said "I can’t wait till it comes out in theatres! I’ll be there at midnight!" The response from Clint would probably be something like "That’s not how it works, people don’t give good reviews" or something equally as fucking moronic. People don’t automatically bash movies just because they came out or because they are about a comic book. If someone likes a movie they are just as more likely to write about that. How much would Fox hate it if everyone who saw it said that they were going to see it in theatres and that they highly recommended it? Would they still be up in arms? Would Clint still have a job if he actually had to think or is it just so much easier with a hand up his ass?

Remember when Radiohead leaked In Rainbows for free because they were really proud of it and they figured, hey if people like it then they’ll still buy it and support us? And remember how In Rainbows went on to sell more albums than any of their others? And how some of us bought it for $80 (if you were quick to order it before the price went up to $120) for the super limited edition of the album because we were so excited about it and it was actually fucking good (in my opinion). And then some of us even went further to buy the album on vinyl again because we didn’t want to scratch the limited edition double pressing vinyl. And even those who bought just one regular copy of In Rainbows more than likely spent more on it than on a movie ticket? So leaking is such a terrible idea huh? And people won’t support it? I’m sick and fucking tried of people blaming piracy for their shitty work. Strong work is receives comes out early people are going to have a different idea of it? Or their opinions will change? How the fuck does that work? "Well if I saw the movie on Sunday I would have loved it but seeing it on a Tuesday just really made it suck." That is stupid fucking logic. A movie will be the same on any day that you see it, and since the people watching this work print with supposed unfinished effects, well it’s probably pretty obvious to the viewer. And if they like what they see they’re going to want to see it finished and on the big screen. People are pretty smart and can see when something is unfinished, leaked or whatever and will forgive shittiness if they like what they are watching. I don’t think a movie is supposed to be on long special effects shot, I think they are supposed to have stories packaged in there as well as actors that drive the movie and are more important than any explosion. If you have weak performances or a weak story, well it would suck on any day of the week no matter how early it was released. And, le’s think about this, does the fact that something doesn’t make a lot of money at the box office on its first weekend mean piracy is to blame? Citizen Kane not winning the Oscar for Best Picture! Fucking piracy! Blade Runner Opening Weekend Gross: $6,150,002. Those damn Pirates again!

So check it out Fox, you just got the biggest world wide focus group. You have no need for any more testing. If people don’t like it, they’ll point out exactly what it is they don’t like because most people are that nit picky and you can make any changes you want. If people love it then you’re fucking golden anyway. So quit your bitching, you more than likely released it on purpose so that you could see the reaction of everyone in the world. I’m pretty sure that Radiohead did that too with Hail to the Thief, Amnesiac and Kid A as well but they didn’t publicly announce that it was them until In Rainbows. And once they let everyone know that they were proud enough of their work that it could stand on its own, people flocked to them to check it out. What do you think is more popular and has a more hardcore following that would follow it to the ends of the earth: Radiohead or X-Men/Comic Books? I’d be dollars to donuts that the hardcore Comic fans outnumber Radiohead fans in both number and intensity. I bet Fox bootlegged it them self and put it up on the Internet for the publicity, I mean I don’t know how else a movie that supposedly has lacking effects and hasn’t been finished yet is if someone in Fox ripped it and put it on the Internet, not some "hacker." How else would something as unfinished as Wolverine is said to be get unleashed? Some guy breaks into Fox and starts playing the actual film and records that? Are you fucking kidding me? It is most defiantly an inside job, and I believe it was on purpose. I’ve read Watchmen about a thousand times, I knew exactly how that movie would play out and yet I was there at midnight, sitting next to Russ, who was reading the Watchmen for his ten thousandth time. Quit making excuses for tired ideas, bad acting and bad story telling. I personally have seen all the trailers for Wolverine and as I sit here next to my stack of individual issues of Origin each signed I can honestly say I can’t wait for the movie and I’ll be there at midnight.

Good morning to all you worms, bots and spiders out there that are most definitely the only audience for this site. As April begins and I realize that not only am I out of practical joke ideas but I also have no great desire to pull any pranks. Today people are expecting it, so I think it’s better to play pranks on them every other day of the year and let them think some super prank is coming later.

This is really nerdy… but… about 2 years ago my friend Andrew Dunn and I spoke about an idea we had. Well maybe it wasn’t an idea…more like mission, or an event. We called this Planet of the Aprils where we would go through every Planet of the Apes movie, the TV show and the animated series. It sounded like a great idea especially since I have never seen any of the Apes movies or shows. Nothing was watched during that initial April and 2 months later Dunn moved back to New Hampshire…or Maine or something. So here I am, with my Netflix subscription watching the very first PotA movie for the very first time as I write this. As April begins so does Planet of the Aprils, stay tuned for updates!

I was wrong, shipping was a little less than 8 bucks.

And I got the Brodie Dixie Cup figure too.

Don’t judge me.