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The Sound of A Hundred Girls Peeing Sounds Like a Jet Lifting Off EP

Adam Wisnieski Exploded and Evelyn, Too

present

The Sound of a Hundred Girls Peeing Sounds Like a Jet Lifting Off EP

written/recorded/mixed all in one day this previous Saturday by Adam and Evelyn

adam-and-eve-EP

01. My Radio Exploded

02. Michael Douglass is Falling Down

03. The Name of this Song Used to be My Darling, My Love

04. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Page 154-156 by J.R.R. Tolkien

Download Here

Resort

So I was able to play some of Wii Sports Resort and had a lot of fun even though Kat kept kicking my ass. I never picked up that second Wii Sports game but this latest installment definitely dwarfs at least the original. Sure there are a lot of different sports to play but there are only 3 that I’m going to talk about. Everything I played was pretty fun but nothing compares to table tennis, canoeing and Frisbee. Table tennis may be the same thing as original tennis but just ping pong instead, but the new peripheral (Wii Motion Plus) really shines bright and takes the game to a new level. The only time I can blame the controller is when there is too much in front of me blocking things, but most of the time that is just laughed off by everyone else. I can’t blame the controller anymore for my motions not being exact enough. Now there is more precision. That doesn’t mean it’s as difficult as it might be in the real world, but the bar has definitely been raised. Ping Pong is Ping Pong, and that’s what it’s great. It’s a simple game, but who has the room for a table in their apartment? Well this is all that you need if you’re looking for the way to truly bring the Pong experience to your own home.

Canoeing is fun and you look like an idiot while doing it. I haven’t quite gotten the motions down yet and at times it seems like the Wii motion plus may be a little too sensitive and switches my rowing side without me telling it to, but I still think it’s more pilot error than system. While I’ve never been canoeing before I got a hell of a work out from sitting on a couch pretending I was and that’s not just because I’m a big guy and can use the exercise. If you want to win you’ve got to try and work hard to get yourself over that finish line. No more button mashing, now you’re flailing around. I guess that was always the point of the Wii anyway, but honestly it’s a lot of fun once you get past the muscle pain.

Frisbee. Wow. It seems awesome at first because the controls work so well for it, it seems so natural, and for someone who only throws about 2 in 5 Frisbee’s well, I’m doing just as well on the Wii, an imitation of life that’s near perfect. And it all seems to be going really well. And then…it becomes even better. How? Just play through a single Frisbee tourney and unlock Frisbee Golf. 2 9 Hole courses (I think), one new one old. And let me tell you there is nothing better than Frisbee golf on Resort. There may not even be a better game on the Wii. Do yourself a favor and if you own a Wii pick up resort, because it’s the first game I’ve bought for the Wii in a long time, and it doesn’t disapoint…if you have low standards, which most Wii owners have at this point.

Lightning Crabs Album

Yeah there’s an album coming out. There’s no track list yet. So I say make your own. Download all the .wav files for the songs here:

http://www.whatidoinmybedroom.com/LightningCrabs/Stuff.zip

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So has anyone else read this article yet?

http://www.moviehole.net/200918431-about-this-wolverine-leak

Yes that’s right. In case you haven’t heard a work print copy of the new Wolverine movie has leaked onto the Internet and people are pissed off. And here come Clint Morris to give a completely one sided, idiotic and laughable approach to journalism. Sure mine is no better, but I don’t pretend to be a professional.

He asks us if we have any idea how much money goes into making a movie, as though people who peruse moviehole.net think that they grow off trees, just flat out insulting the readers intelligence. Well fuck you Clint. I do in fact have an idea about how movies are made. And then Clint goes off on his little tirade about how unfair it is for a movie to be leaked early so that people can post bad reviews and dissuade other people from seeing it. Because that’s all that people do, watch a movie and instantly call it bad? Maybe the morons who comment all over your site and your posts don’t actually watch movies but why the fuck would everyone automatically call a movie bad? What if everyone saw it and called it "Brilliant!" and said "I can’t wait till it comes out in theatres! I’ll be there at midnight!" The response from Clint would probably be something like "That’s not how it works, people don’t give good reviews" or something equally as fucking moronic. People don’t automatically bash movies just because they came out or because they are about a comic book. If someone likes a movie they are just as more likely to write about that. How much would Fox hate it if everyone who saw it said that they were going to see it in theatres and that they highly recommended it? Would they still be up in arms? Would Clint still have a job if he actually had to think or is it just so much easier with a hand up his ass?

Remember when Radiohead leaked In Rainbows for free because they were really proud of it and they figured, hey if people like it then they’ll still buy it and support us? And remember how In Rainbows went on to sell more albums than any of their others? And how some of us bought it for $80 (if you were quick to order it before the price went up to $120) for the super limited edition of the album because we were so excited about it and it was actually fucking good (in my opinion). And then some of us even went further to buy the album on vinyl again because we didn’t want to scratch the limited edition double pressing vinyl. And even those who bought just one regular copy of In Rainbows more than likely spent more on it than on a movie ticket? So leaking is such a terrible idea huh? And people won’t support it? I’m sick and fucking tried of people blaming piracy for their shitty work. Strong work is receives comes out early people are going to have a different idea of it? Or their opinions will change? How the fuck does that work? "Well if I saw the movie on Sunday I would have loved it but seeing it on a Tuesday just really made it suck." That is stupid fucking logic. A movie will be the same on any day that you see it, and since the people watching this work print with supposed unfinished effects, well it’s probably pretty obvious to the viewer. And if they like what they see they’re going to want to see it finished and on the big screen. People are pretty smart and can see when something is unfinished, leaked or whatever and will forgive shittiness if they like what they are watching. I don’t think a movie is supposed to be on long special effects shot, I think they are supposed to have stories packaged in there as well as actors that drive the movie and are more important than any explosion. If you have weak performances or a weak story, well it would suck on any day of the week no matter how early it was released. And, le’s think about this, does the fact that something doesn’t make a lot of money at the box office on its first weekend mean piracy is to blame? Citizen Kane not winning the Oscar for Best Picture! Fucking piracy! Blade Runner Opening Weekend Gross: $6,150,002. Those damn Pirates again!

So check it out Fox, you just got the biggest world wide focus group. You have no need for any more testing. If people don’t like it, they’ll point out exactly what it is they don’t like because most people are that nit picky and you can make any changes you want. If people love it then you’re fucking golden anyway. So quit your bitching, you more than likely released it on purpose so that you could see the reaction of everyone in the world. I’m pretty sure that Radiohead did that too with Hail to the Thief, Amnesiac and Kid A as well but they didn’t publicly announce that it was them until In Rainbows. And once they let everyone know that they were proud enough of their work that it could stand on its own, people flocked to them to check it out. What do you think is more popular and has a more hardcore following that would follow it to the ends of the earth: Radiohead or X-Men/Comic Books? I’d be dollars to donuts that the hardcore Comic fans outnumber Radiohead fans in both number and intensity. I bet Fox bootlegged it them self and put it up on the Internet for the publicity, I mean I don’t know how else a movie that supposedly has lacking effects and hasn’t been finished yet is if someone in Fox ripped it and put it on the Internet, not some "hacker." How else would something as unfinished as Wolverine is said to be get unleashed? Some guy breaks into Fox and starts playing the actual film and records that? Are you fucking kidding me? It is most defiantly an inside job, and I believe it was on purpose. I’ve read Watchmen about a thousand times, I knew exactly how that movie would play out and yet I was there at midnight, sitting next to Russ, who was reading the Watchmen for his ten thousandth time. Quit making excuses for tired ideas, bad acting and bad story telling. I personally have seen all the trailers for Wolverine and as I sit here next to my stack of individual issues of Origin each signed I can honestly say I can’t wait for the movie and I’ll be there at midnight.

Planet of the Aprils Begins!

Good morning to all you worms, bots and spiders out there that are most definitely the only audience for this site. As April begins and I realize that not only am I out of practical joke ideas but I also have no great desire to pull any pranks. Today people are expecting it, so I think it’s better to play pranks on them every other day of the year and let them think some super prank is coming later.

This is really nerdy… but… about 2 years ago my friend Andrew Dunn and I spoke about an idea we had. Well maybe it wasn’t an idea…more like mission, or an event. We called this Planet of the Aprils where we would go through every Planet of the Apes movie, the TV show and the animated series. It sounded like a great idea especially since I have never seen any of the Apes movies or shows. Nothing was watched during that initial April and 2 months later Dunn moved back to New Hampshire…or Maine or something. So here I am, with my Netflix subscription watching the very first PotA movie for the very first time as I write this. As April begins so does Planet of the Aprils, stay tuned for updates!

For Whatever Reason

I have no money. I have no job. I’m in debt above my head but I am still compelled to buy all sorts of comics, collectibles and games. I don’t want to call it a drawback because of the amount of joy these noncarbon trinkets bestow, and maybe that is a drawback. How could a Kevin Smith inaction figure of him working at a store bring me happiness? I don’t know but I think that it might. I didn’t buy it yet but I have visited Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash online site numerous times in the past weeks to buy some other uber fan boy stuff and these Kevin Smith figures are pretty cool too, especially the one that is on sale for like 3 bucks that depicts him working at the now defunct J&SBSS once in California. And let me tell you something, if shipping wasn’t 9 bucks, I would have bought it by now. But really, will this stupid figure help me out in anyway? Maybe it’s because I just like Smith’s movies so much and I’ve been watching them in recent months. Before watching Zack & Miri 2 months ago I hadn’t watched a Smith movie since Clerks II in theatres. I had walked out the movie unimpressed, un enthused and in the blink of an eye I had forgotten Smiths movies, the universe and the characters that spawned. I never shunned him though, I would always talk up any of the films that I really enjoyed but I would always find myself just passing over his movies whenever I was thinking of something to watch, when they were once a staple of my viewing library and were like soundtracks to my life constantly in the background. Over saturation. When one cannot control oneself and take the necessary detox every now and again these pleasures become routine and lose their meaning. Depending on what we’re talking about here you will either just grow bored and move on or possibly continue down a path of overabundance, but we’ll stick with the former. I don’t really know where this is going other than I spend way too much money on shit I don’t need and a lot of it has to do with watching the "classic" movies again after such a long break, watching Clerks II again and really loving it , enjoying the hell out of  Z&M and all of the "Evening With"’s, and just being pissed off about how much shipping rates are.

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Proud Mary

I know.

I am starting today by writing this entry even though I won’t post it for hours still. Not my own idea but I don’t have an acceptable signal anywhere else in this city. I could find one, but that just conjurs up a whole list of potentially unwanted outcomes. I usually, and by usually I mean most of the time given the few times that I have, post or at least compose a post when at work or after work on othe train. At lesat that had been my most recent idea. In the morning it’s just more difficult to write, it’s easier to play a video game on the train and forget that I am actually going to work (in this world). A bit of detachment never harmed anybody. I just hate thinking about my job so I try not to. Do you ever take a good look around you and wonder "how the fuck did I end up here?" That’s part of my daily routine. I’ve been going to school for years, my coligate carrer surpassed the normal 4 year relm and my post-graduate studies are coming to a close. I’ve lived and breathed computer science and programming for the last 10 years of my life (with the exception of the brief period I went English major out of no where) and I’m doing nothing that has to do with coding. A glorified, not even glorified just a secretary. And not even a good one at that. But I’m sorry to say that when people blame me for shit I either didn’t do or they start screaming about approvals when the person screaming is the one who I got to approve it…this might not make too much sense but I what I am trying to convery in many many more words is that I don’t appricated being treated like shit and I am fucking sick of it. I just really hope someone tries to start something with me today. I could really use the money but I am looking for an excuse to quit. At least it’s only a temporary contract, but this has been one of the worst job experiences of my life. I felt like I had forgotten everything about coding and what I actually wanted to do with my life by working in this soul sucking shit hole of a bank. Here are some tips I’d like to express to you that I have either been told or picked up by working:

1) NEVER work for a bank or any financial company unless you want to be cast into an envrionment where no one will claim responsibilty for any actions they have taken, it takes you days to complete tasks that you would otherwise finish in seconds because you have to ask people a billion and a half questions before doing the most minuet thing, and everyone is only out for themselves no matter what they actually tell you.

2) Save every e-mail you send and that is sent to you so you can shove it in someone’s face when they say "I never said that" or "Why did this happen." No matter how much you trust someone or think that they wouldn’t be the one to do that, in the end it’s their ass they’re more interested in saving.

3) If they’re a manager they’re a fucking moron and they are the reason that the company is doing poorly. If, for some reason, the company is propering, that is because the workers were able to do their jobs and the managers shut the fuck up and left the people who actually know how to do work alone.

4) There is always some sort of drama that hinders you from completing you work in a timely fashion, but this is because all of the managers are fucking morons.

5) The more people in the company, the more red tape there is before anything can get done.

6) Make sure you give out your blog address to people at work (espically your managers!) so they can see what you really think.

7) I can’t stress this enough: Your manager, well all managers are, or will be, complete fucking assholes. What I mean by it now is that you can’t take it personally when they screw you over, because no matter who it was in your position they would be getting screwed over. It’s not you it’s them and how they work. They need to keep their jobs more than you, at least how they see it. They make more than you so of course when cuts come it is much easier to cut one of them than 5 of you, and that’s why they are constantly trying to pass off blame and throw you under a bus.

It’s just the way of the man.

Well my train is pulling into GCT now, and I will join in with my train comrads here in our zombie walk from our train to another train! Or for the few of us willing to venture into the cold, a zombie walk all the way to work. That’s what I’ll be doing. Look for me on Park somewhere between 42 and 24th walking to work.

I’ll be there every day start at around 8:30.

Oh and I Kill Giants issue 7 comes out today.  So that’s something to write home about!

Don’t let the man get you down,

Tigs

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Mere Hours

Well I am currently on my first day off from work! Woo! How have I spent the day so far? In my pajamas, that’s right. Not only do I wear pajamas, but I am still in them. I have showered though. Which sadly means that I showered only to get back into my pajamas. Anyway I bought a PS3 on e-bay the other day and I have been really excited about it. I didn’t expect it to come until after the holidays but it came in the mail today. I couldn’t believe it! Then I opened the box up and saw pieces of the system broken off and floating around in the box. The top of the massive black box won’t even stay on, the bottom part is falling off, some cosmetic bumper thing broke off, the hard drive cap won’t fit in place. Well that sucks. But all is forgiven upon playing. Too bad the system is DOA. Green light, yellow light, red light, red light, red light, red light, red light, red light. Sometimes: green light, yellow light, green li-, red light, red light, red light, red light. Furiously I e-mailed the ebay patron and I am awaiting a response. I kind of expected it to be dead, the deal was too good for me to get. But the seller is in Jersey, about 2 hours away from me, which is doable, but highly unlikely. Maybe if they’re open tomorrow I’ll get up extra early and see if I can bring it back. Or I can always just go to the UPS store, but that seems a little too easy, not a plan that I am comfortable undertaking if I can’t screw it up immensely somehow in the middle of the night screaming at the top of my lungs into the windows of an unknowing stranger as the cold wind breezes past carrying along with it a few lawn ornaments of Rudolph and his pals making plans to carry along all the hopes/deams/wishes of the people who believe in them. What?

Anyway, I hope that someone responds back to me soon. I just want to play Persona 4, which isn’t even a PS3 game, but whatever. A working item would still be preferable to a brick.

3 Months Without a Post

Ok….so I haven’t posted and I’m SORRY. I know I’ve said this before, so what right do you have to trust me now? None. I wouldn’t trust me either. When I tell you I’ll come back and I’ll keep up the posting. That nothing else in the world matters except this. My life has been meaningless until right now when I’ve realised what is truly important in life and now I am going to act upon it and write every day. I wouldn’t believe it and I don’t believe it. My excuse? I’ve been super busy. My last posts are pretty much from the same week that I got a job, so that’s where I’ve been. I could have posted on the weekends and things like that, but I haven’t, more reason to just not believe me. But let’s try this. By "let’s" I mean "I’ll" because I have already lost every possible reader I have by dissapering so often without notice. Anyway "let’s" have me start writing every day again. On the train, while at work, on the way home from work, just before bed. Whatvere it takes, 1 min, 90 min, 1440 min, however long it takes. I think my sentances and thoughs are beinging to become jumbled. That is one problem with trying to write these posts early in the morning: I have no idea what to say. Which brings me to the fundamental flaw of blogging for someone like me: I don’t think so I rarely have anythign to say. Or maybe I do have things to say but I just don’t think anyone wants to hear it. And why should that matter? No one reads this anyway so I should just write to myself. And I know that writing throughout the day in locations where I am not able to access the internet will mean that I can only publish at the end of the day and not at the same time as I am writing it, but that shouldn’t stop me. There are a lot of tiny obsticals that stand in my way that I decide to turn into chimeras because I’m lazy . Why go down the path if I have an excuse not to? I spend a lot more time looking for excuses not to do things where if I was to just act I think I would have just as much time on my hands to do ABSOLUTLY NOTHING! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? Lazy, I know, I already stated that.

So here I sit on the 7:54 train to Grand Central surrounded by people who don’t notice me and who never would except that I am that annoying kid who stands out in the crowd because he looks funny wearing his big red coat and hat sitting with a black mac book infront of him pretentiously typing away on the near mute keyboard not pay attention to any one of the numerous patrons standing up because they do not board the train as early as myself. Even the people sitting down hate me and I am convinced of this because it is difficult to get by me with my elbow jetting out into the isle because I just have to choose the only row on the train that has only one seat, smaller than all of the other seats, so that I can just look down pretentiously at either my mac book or my DS as I ride the train into the city into the world that I didn’t think I was going to have to emerse myself into just yet. I though I could hang on to my graduate studies for longer and continue to avoid the inevitable until I finally discovered some way that I could cheat the system and continue to waste my life of inactiviy profitably and secretly.

Things don’t happen the way you hope them too, which I could have told you from the age of 7 when I was told that a lazer blaster didn’t exist, but we move on, realise that we didn’t really need it anyway, and look for another lazer blaster to reach for.

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The Shirt Is Finished! GO VOTE FOR IT!

http://www.threadless.com/submission/174372/Lightning_Crabs_Attack/

VOTE 5 everyone!!! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!